Published on December 21st, 2012 | by Lord Seer1,613
It’s that time of year again, where you stave off seasonal affective disorder just long enough to drag yourself into the freezing weather in order to stand in line with the drooling masses at some department store, buying a bunch of worthless crap just so your relatives and loved ones don’t think that you’re a cheap, non-festive bastard. The invention of internet commerce has streamlined this process somewhat, but it still sucks and I always inevitably end up at Target or some other hellhole fighting off the urge to murder everyone around me just so I can buy wrapping paper, scotch tape and a couple stupid Christmas cards with Garfield saying something snarky on them.
If you couldn’t tell, Christmas has always been my like 8th favorite holiday. I dig the overeating, football, and the ability to get day-drunk off of eggnog-based cocktails without anyone batting an eye, but the rest of the holiday can burn in hell. I never know what to get people and when people spend more on me than I do on them I always end up feeling like a dick.
Even worse, I swear Christmas begins earlier and earlier every year. This year they were playing Christmas music in this Chinese restaurant I like TWO WEEKS BEFORE THANKSGIVING. Jeeesus. Pretty soon Christmas will just take over the entire second half of the year. So, here are a couple Killwhitneydead songs packed with a bunch of negative Christmas movie and TV samples. Which makes them pretty much perfect for my mood around this time of year.