Published on December 3rd, 2012 | by Lord Seer

Dethklok Ejaculate Fire

Being a normal and well adjusted fan of heavy metal requires a certain degree of self deprecation. After all, when I think about it rationally I’m a grown-ass man listening to other grown-ass men scream and screech about dragons, orcs, swords, battle axes, murder, death, hot chicks, sci-fi, the end of the world, or any of the other assorted topics that the practitioners of the heaviest of metal arts have grown reliant on over the past few decades. No wonder fans of other musical genres so often classify us as weirdos, dorks, scuzzballs, basement dwellers, or virgins. And yes, although there are those that fall into those stereotypes, many more of us are well adjusted and (pseudo) productive members of society that can look at our own clique and laugh a little, while still steadfastly defending our love for metal and “metalness” to the death.

Arguably, no man has been more instrumental in illustrating this tongue-in-cheek humor and combining it with a self aware tribute to the all-time greats of the metal genre than Brendon Small (, creator and voice actor of the beloved Metalocalypse. Much like his previously beloved series Home Movies, Small is the creative musical force behind “Dethklok”, the fictitious death metal band which has popularity level unheard of in reality (being the seventh largest stand-alone economy on earth and having legions upon legions of cultish fans willing to murder or kill themselves for their band). Certainly, one of the things that has made Metalocalypse such a smash hit over the past few years is the fact that Dethklok is actually a real-life, functioning band that even books national and global tours from time to time. The band itself is comprised of Small, himself an excellent guitarist and vocalist, as well as some of the heavyweights of the metal genre, including George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher of Cannibal Corpse and Gene Hoglan of such illustrious bands as Death, Testament, and Strapping Young Lad.

To their credit, the ficticious band now has three albums under their belt and a handful of stand-alone music videos. This one, the awesomely titled “I Ejaculate Fire” off of the recently released “Dethalbum III”, is a great example of why Dethklok kick more ass than a good chunk of the “real”bands out there. An evil pharaoh gets a cursed BJ and provides a cautionary tale against unclean skeletal hand maidens. Obviously this shit is WAY over the top, but that’s kinda the point with Dethklok. If this doesn’t make you laugh at least a little, then I’m afraid you’ll just never get it.



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About the Author

I like classic science fiction, horror films, arcade gaming, heavy metal, comics, cartoons and other assorted nerd bait. I'm also a big NFL fan (Go Seahawks). I live in a little apartment in Seattle with my brother, my girlfriend, a cat and a pug.

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